lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
