she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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