i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
