hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
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