Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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