"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
