In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
