By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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