remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Randomize
