Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Thank you for not boning my boss.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
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