It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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