She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
