It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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