I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
