She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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