Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
