just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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