whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
40s are totally the cure
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize
