He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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