If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
The beers last night were like the tears from god
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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