You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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