bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
