Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
