No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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