You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
