am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize
