I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
