M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
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I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...