My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger