Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(704): View more from North Carolina

happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash

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(314): View more from Missouri

Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.

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(858): View more from California

dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.

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(530): View more from California

smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers

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27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
Read it at the TFLN blog
(614): View more from Ohio

I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar

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(561): View more from Florida

I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.

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(909): View more from California

Every concussion has its silver lining

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(313): View more from Michigan

From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.

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(626): View more from California

It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?

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