Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
