i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
