And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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