Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
