I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
