i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
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