I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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