Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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