omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
