Me. At least after what I've been through.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
