I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
