she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize