dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
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Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
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We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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