Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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