All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
People in love make me want to vomit
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
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she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
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Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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