is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
