I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
