you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
