just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
