it's too hot outside to masturbate.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
