don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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