i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
