yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
