Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
