No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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